Debbie would be walking around the mall. She had just got done yelling at a girl with down syndrome for bumping into her.
"Watch where you're going next time," Debbie snapped, brushing imaginary lint off her sleeve as the girl with Down syndrome mumbled an apology, her eyes darting nervously. The girl’s caregiver shot Debbie a sharp look before guiding her charge away, whispering reassurances.
Debbie would be by herself.
Debbie stalked off toward the food court, her heels clicking like metronomes keeping time with her irritation. She didn’t even want to be here—the mall was beneath her, always too loud, too crowded, too *messy*. But she needed new heels, and apparently, the universe had decided to punish her for it.
Debbie felt a strange pressure behind her eyes as she marched toward the food court, like the beginnings of a headache but softer, almost liquid. She blinked hard, shaking her head as if to dislodge the sensation. The overhead lights seemed brighter suddenly, their reflections skating across the polished floor in dizzying streaks. *Ugh, this place is giving me a migraine,* she thought, rubbing her temple with one manicured hand. Her fingers felt clumsy against her skin—had she always been this uncoordinated?
The scent of pretzels and frying oil hit her in a wave as she reached the food court, and for a moment, the noise of chatter and clattering trays overwhelmed her. A group of teenagers burst out laughing nearby, and Debbie flinched, her hands flying up as if to shield herself. Something about their voices—too sharp, too *much*—made her stomach twist. She frowned, lowering her hands slowly. Since when did loud noises bother her like this? Across the way, a toddler in a high chair banged a spoon against a tray, and Debbie’s breath hitched. The sound was like a hammer against her skull.
Debbie slumped onto a bench near the pretzel stand, her breath coming in short, uneven puffs. The cuffs of her blouse felt tight suddenly, the fabric bunching awkwardly around her wrists as she tried to adjust them. Her fingers—why were they so *stubby*? She flexed them, frowning at the way her knuckles seemed to disappear into soft, doughy flesh. Must be the humidity, she decided, shaking her hands as if that would dry them out. Across the food court, her reflection in a shop window wavered, distorted by the crowd passing by. Was her nose always that flat?
A giggle bubbled up in her throat—unexpected, giddy—and she clapped a hand over her mouth. The sound was high-pitched, almost childish. *Stop it,* she scolded herself, but another giggle escaped anyway, this time accompanied by a soft, involuntary *pfft* from somewhere south of her waistline. Debbie blinked. Did she just—? No. Impossible. She shifted on the bench, crossing her legs primly, but her knees refused to cooperate, splaying outward with a clumsiness that sent her purse tumbling to the floor.
"Oh! Oopsy," she murmured, reaching for it. Her arm moved slower than she intended, her fingers fumbling as they brushed the leather strap. Something warm and fizzy expanded in her chest, an effervescent joy at the simple act of *reaching*. How silly, to feel so delighted by *that*. She grabbed the purse, hugging it to her chest with a contented sigh—then froze. The fabric of her dress strained oddly across her shoulders, the seams pulling in ways they never had before. Debbie craned her neck, trying to peer at her own back. Had she gained weight? *Today?*
Nearby, a mother guided her young son toward the restrooms, the boy’s wide, lopsided grin catching Debbie’s eye. He waved at her, his fingers curled in a loose, enthusiastic flap. Without thinking, Debbie waved back the same way—her wrist limp, her fingers fluttering—and giggled when the boy laughed. The sound was bright and unfiltered, bubbling out of her like soda pop. *Why haven’t I ever waved like that before?* she wondered, admiring the way her hand danced in the air. It felt *right*, even if her sleeve was riding up strangely, the fabric stretched taut over her suddenly thicker forearm.
Debbie swung her legs under the bench, her Mary Janes kicking at the air with a rhythm that made her want to giggle again. The laces were coming loose—one flopped against her ankle like a happy little tongue—and she wiggled her toes inside the shoes, delighted by how snug they felt. Had her feet always been this small? She blinked down at them, then shrugged. Must’ve worn the wrong pair today. The thought should’ve annoyed her, but instead, it fizzed in her chest like bath bubbles.
Debbie tugged at her blouse collar, suddenly annoyed by how stiff the fabric felt against her neck. The lace trim—hadn’t it been silk before?—itched in a way that made her squirm. She scratched absently at her collarbone, her fingers catching on something plasticky. A lanyard? Since when did she wear a lanyard? She lifted the neon pink strap, blinking at the laminated ID card swinging from it. Her own face grinned back at her in the photo, but something was off—her smile was wider, lopsided, her eyes crinkled with unfiltered joy. *Weird photoshop,* she thought, letting it drop. Must’ve been a mall security thing.
The bench creaked as she shifted, and Debbie realized with a start that her skirt—since when was she wearing a *skirt*?—was riding up her thighs, the bright yellow fabric patterned with grinning cartoon ducks. She smoothed it down, her hands lingering on the soft cotton. Hadn’t she been wearing slacks earlier? A giggle escaped her as she noticed her shoes: bulky white Velcro sneakers, one strap already coming loose. She kicked her feet happily, enjoying the way they slapped against the floor. "Easy on, easy off," she sing-songed to herself, then clapped a hand over her mouth. Where had *that* come from?
Her backpack—purse, wasn’t it a purse?—slid off the bench with a thump, spilling a rainbow of highlighters and a well-loved stuffed frog onto the floor. Debbie gasped, scrambling to scoop them up. "Mr. Hoppy!" she cooed, hugging the frog to her chest before tucking him carefully into the backpack’s front pocket. Her fingers brushed against a stack of laminated picture cards inside, but she didn’t pull them out. They felt familiar, like she’d used them a thousand times. The backpack itself was pink with glittery unicorns, the straps adjusted perfectly to her suddenly shorter torso. She swung it onto her shoulders with practiced ease, bouncing a little to settle the weight.
Debbie giggled again, kicking her legs under the bench with unselfconscious glee. The Velcro straps of her sneakers made a satisfying *rrriippp* sound when she tugged at them, and she did it three more times just because she could. Her yellow duck-patterned skirt flounced around her thighs as she swung her feet, the fabric softer than anything she’d ever worn before. Had her clothes always been this *fun*? She couldn’t remember picking them out—maybe her mom had—but they felt *right*, even if the blouse she’d been wearing earlier was now a stretchy pink T-shirt with a glittery unicorn that winked when she poked its horn.
Debbie hummed tunelessly as she dug through her backpack—no, her *purse*, wasn’t it?—for a mint, her fingers brushing past a crinkly bag of goldfish crackers instead. She paused, nibbling her lower lip. Since when did she carry snacks like this? The goldfish smelled buttery and inviting, so she popped a handful into her mouth, crunching happily. A few crumbs tumbled down her front, landing on her unicorn shirt—*blouse*, she’d been wearing a blouse—and she brushed them away, giggling when the glittery horn sparkled under her touch.
Debbie swung her legs under the bench, her Velcro sneakers kicking absently at the air. The left strap had come loose again—it always did—and she giggled when it flapped against her ankle like a happy puppy’s tongue. She reached down to fix it, her fingers moving slower than she expected, fumbling with the fuzzy strip before finally pressing it back into place with a satisfying *rrriippp*. "There!" she announced to no one, clapping her hands once. The sound made her jump a little, then laugh at herself. Everything felt louder today, brighter, like the world had turned up the volume on all the good parts.
Her backpack—when had she started calling it that?—slid off the bench again, landing with a soft *plop* beside her. Debbie peered down at it, tilting her head. It was pink with glittery unicorns, the straps perfectly adjusted to her shoulders. She didn’t remember buying it, but it felt *right*, like she’d carried it forever. The zipper was decorated with a rainbow of tiny pom-poms, and she played with them absently, enjoying the way they bobbed under her fingertips. Inside, her things had somehow rearranged themselves: highlighters in every color, a half-eaten bag of goldfish crackers, Mr. Hoppy the frog peeking out from the front pocket. She pulled him out, hugging him to her chest with a contented sigh. "You’re my best friend," she whispered into his soft green head, then giggled when his button eyes seemed to wink at her.
A warm, fizzy feeling bubbled up in her tummy—the kind that usually meant she was about to laugh or, well, *toot*. Debbie pressed a hand to her mouth, but it escaped anyway, a little *pfft* that made her shoulders shake with silent giggles. "Oopsie," she murmured, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. But the food court was busy, noisy, full of people too wrapped up in their own lives to care about her silly sounds. She kicked her feet again, swinging them back and forth. Her skirt—bright yellow with grinning cartoon ducks—flounced around her thighs, the fabric so soft it almost tickled. She didn’t remember putting it on this morning, but it was *way* more fun than those boring slacks she usually wore.
Debbie heard the squeak of sneakers approaching and looked up to see a woman in a bright blue polo shirt crouching beside her, hands resting on her knees. "There you are, sunshine!" the woman said, her voice warm as honey. "You wandered off again, didn’t you?" Her nametag read *JESS* in cheerful block letters, a cartoon sun drawn beside it in permanent marker. Debbie blinked—since when did she know this woman?—but her body seemed to recognize Jess before her mind did, leaning into the gentle hand that ruffled her hair.
Jess’s fingers were gentle as she adjusted Debbie’s lanyard, tucking it back under her unicorn shirt. "Lunchtime, kiddo," she said, offering a hand. "The others are already at our table." Debbie took it without thinking, her smaller fingers slotting perfectly between Jess’s calloused ones. As they walked, Debbie noticed her steps had changed—a slight bounce in her gait, toes pointing outward just enough to make her sneakers squeak on the polished floor. Jess didn’t seem to mind; she just squeezed Debbie’s hand and hummed along to the mall’s piped-in music.
The food court smelled like pizza and spilled soda, the noise swelling around them like a living thing. Debbie flapped her free hand absently, the motion calming the fizzy feeling in her chest. Ahead, a long table was piled with trays of chicken nuggets and apple slices, surrounded by a dozen teens chatting over each other in a joyful cacophony. One boy waved wildly, nearly knocking over his chocolate milk. "Debbie! Debbie!" he shouted, though she was only ten feet away. His grin was electric, his eyes crinkled at the corners just like hers in the lanyard photo.
Debbie blinked at the boy waving at her—his name hovered just out of reach in her mind, like a word on the tip of her tongue—but her body reacted before she could overthink it. Her hand flapped back at him, wrist loose, fingers fluttering like leaves in a breeze. Something about the motion unlocked a floodgate in her chest, and she let out a squeal of recognition, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Jason!" The name burst out of her, accompanied by a giggle so giddy it made her shoulders shake. Of *course* it was Jason—his baseball cap was crooked just like always, his milk mustache already forming.
Jess guided her to the table, where a dozen pairs of hands immediately reached for her—tugging at her unicorn shirt, patting her backpack straps, offering fist bumps that Debbie returned with exaggerated precision. The familiarity of it all buzzed under her skin, warm and bright, even as the logical part of her mind sputtered. *Since when do I know these people?* But the thought dissolved when a girl with braids—Maya, her brain supplied—pressed a chicken nugget into her palm. "Dippy?" Maya asked, holding out a cup of ketchup. Debbie nodded vigorously, dunking the nugget with such enthusiasm that ketchup splattered her chin. The table erupted in laughter, and Debbie joined in, wiping her face with the back of her hand before licking the ketchup off her wrist.
The end